Mainely Me

“Just because we’re camping doesn’t mean we need to open things like we’re animals.” – Me

Last fall, my husband bought a Jeep Wrangler. We’d been a one-car family for about five years, but circumstances changed, and life required that Chris get his own set of wheels. Now, our views on how to go about this were vastly different. I did not win. 

One of the “selling points” Chris made after purchasing the Jeep, whose name is Corrina by the way, was that we could go do that thing where Jeeps are driven over big rocks and through massive puddles. I imagine the “Oh, shit!” handles are put into use often during this activity that I call “Jeeping.” However, that was going to take some work and upgrades. This would take some time. So, while those more significant upgrades were being made, “we” decided to focus on some adventures that required less of a financial commitment. Camping. As Chris was happy to point out, camping is not hiking.  He won, again. 

So, we spent the winter planning to go camping this summer. This may not sound like a big deal, but trust… it is for me. Camping happens in the outside were the bugs, snakes, and creepy-crawlies are. I am an inside girlie. Naturally, an Amazon wishlist was created. I added things like cozy camping blankets, metal marshmallow roasting skewers, body wipes, and cooking gear. Chris added things like a power station, fire extinguishers, roof rack cross bars, and tire plug kits. 

Clearly, we had different definitions of camping.  

I made a point of picking up supplies every time I went to Walmart. A jar of multiple cooking spices. A citronella candle. An egg carrier. Camping forks, spoons, and knives. Mini dry shampoos and deodorants. The shopping and planning part was kind of fun and Chris busied himself with working on Corrina. Did we really need those new tire thingies? What about those light upgrades? We now have a tote of recovery gear? Eh. I mean, did I really need that last pair of sneakers I bought? Yes. Yes, I did. 

Chris removed the backseats from Corrina and built a sleeping platform that also stored our 6ft table, which I bought the most adorable black and white checked vinyl table cover for BTW. He made sure to use all the space purposefully. We bought one of those tents that would attach to Corrina so that our sleeping space was also part of our living space. He found an air mattress that was the right dimensions and shape, and I found a sheet that was the perfect fit… and color. It was final. We were going camping and we were sleeping in Corrina. 

Last Friday, with a dog sitter confirmed for Baxter and Poppy, thank you again Ava, we headed to Laomine State Park, with Pip. This destination was picked by Chris for three reasons. 1) Having lived on the coast twice, it was familiar territory. 2) It was close to Bar Harbor and my friend Robyn Hanson. So there were shopping and activities to make me happy, if needed. 3) It was close to LL Bean and Walmart… juuuust in case.

Imagine my horror when Chris opened the back of Corrina in the parking lot of the Lamoine General Store to load the firewood we had just purchased, and MY bag toppled out and landed upside down while my hidden snacks and… (gulp) my HEATED THERMAL CURLING BRUSH rolled out onto the pavement. Yes. I brought a HEATED THERMAL CURLING BRUSH. Guys, I just got bangs. When I tell you I scrambled to scoop up all my hidden treasures… To his credit, Chris did not say a word.  

After a little mixup and a lost, but not really lost, reservation, we arrived at our campsite. Aside from not having a direct view of the ocean, it was perfect. Close but not too close to the bathroom and dumpsters. Direct sunlight and a beautiful tree thing happening. Level ground with grass. A picnic table and fire pit. 

We strapped Pip into his stroller (don’t come for me, it was the best purchase I made two summers ago, and we use it all the time) and Chris went about setting up the tent. It was at this time that I realized we really should have done a dryrun and seen how that sucker came together. Chris mixed the poles up only once, and with Pip and me supervising, things went pretty smoothly. However, as the tent took on more of a tent shape, Pip started to thrash his little body around in the stroller. It was as if he realized that was happening and said, “Oh, f–k no.” With one last toss of his little body to the right, he toppled that stroller right onto its side, while still attached to it. “My baby!” I screamed as I ran over to rescue him. We now have what looks like an off-road stroller. I like that. It makes me feel like, “Yeah. We have a dog stroller. What of it? Check out those dings. Look at those scratches. We’re tough.” Pip was unharmed; however, his displeasure was noted. This confirmed what I’ve suspected for several years now. Pip is my spirit animal. 

Once the tent was set up, it was time to arrange where we’d be sleeping. The air mattress inflated super fast and fit like a glove. I don’t remember why, but at one point we needed scissors. Luckily, we had some packed away… in our recovery gear. We made our bed and finished setting up camp. Those scissors were not seen again for about 12 hours.

The day was beautiful! We explored the beach and campground. Collected seashells. Kept Pip from drinking the ocean and learned that he is terrified of seaweed… which, I mean, same. I was super impressed with the bathrooms. Multiple CLEAN stalls, and there were showers! There was also an outdoor sink to wash dishes! I mean, if this is what camping is, I’m sold. Unfortunately, Chris’s idea of camping is bringing only what you can carry in a pack and sleeping curled up under a tree on a soft bed of leaves and grass. I’m fairly positive he has no idea what glamping is, but I bet he thinks that’s what we were doing. Believe me when I tell you it was not. 

Chris made a dinner of hot dogs and beans as Pip and I swung in our hammock chair while priding ourselves on becoming such brave little campers. We watched the birds that lived in the foliage of our campsite hop around from limb to limb. Pip alerted us to everything… like everything… people, dogs, leaves, etc. I figured it was probably time that I did something productive, so I cleaned up from dinner. It was as the hotdog juices poured out of the package and all over my hands and picnic table that I reminded Chris, “Just because we’re camping doesn’t mean we need to open things like we’re animals.” I know how much joy he got from whipping out his pocket knife to slice open that pack of weiners, but, common man, I had hotdog juice all over myself. Ew. (Even thinking about it now is giving me major ick.)  

After thoroughly washing my hands, like real washing… not camping washing, I decided to hop in Corrina and test drive that sleeping situation. There was an issue. At no fault of Chris’s, there was a gap happening where our heads would be. Because I am who I am, I brought each of us not only a standard-size pillow but a king-size one as well.  “Just because we’re camping doesn’t mean we can’t be cozy.” Shoving those king-sized pillows in that gap did nothing. Maybe if we slept the other way? You know, our heads where our feet would go? At this point, Chris had joined me in the tent… which was unfortunate for my self-esteem. As I lay there, my head where our feet would go, the mattress slowly began to slide out of the jeep. Like, it was almost imperceptible. But it was definitely happening. Imagine being headfirst on an air mattress at the tippy top of a waterslide as you ever so slowly begin to fall victim to gravity. Fortunately, I had about six inches between myself and the roof to remedy the situation. I laughed hysterically as I pulled out my inner contortionist and managed a five-point turn before Corrina spat me out on the floor of the tent, which is where we ended up putting the mattress and spending our first night. 

Two things came to mind before I opened my eyes the next morning. 

1) A River Runs Through It 

2) I was on the ground. I was not on an air mattress that was on the ground. I was on the ground. 

It didn’t rain that night. It poured. All things considered, the tent did well. But it wasn’t a magical tent. We took on some water. I realized that I wasn’t sweating, like I thought, when I woke up randomly throughout the night. I was sleeping on a damp pillow and the floppy shell of a fairly expensive air mattress. Awesome. I also had to pee… but it was downpouring. I put on my new swim socks and swam to the latrine. When I returned, I got the chance to take in the state of our living quarters. What was most obvious was that Pip was pissed. He is an indoor doggie. 

My dear sweet husband said it was okay if I wanted to pack it in and head home. It was going to be a crappy day weather-wise. Not a chance. If I didn’t give up on the 10-mile hike he took me on a few years ago, I sure as hell wasn’t about to give up on this. (Those 10 miles are the baseline for me in terms of how awful a situation in the outside is.) Camping in the rain? That was nuthin’.

Oh! Turns out my bangs are long enough to be swept into a high pony! Phew! So, after taming my curly, frizzy hair as best I could and making a pretty yummy breakfast, we headed to Seal Harbor to visit Robyn and the Acadia Outdoor Center. I asked Chris if I looked ok, if I should put a hat on. He looked at me. I mean, he really took me in and said, “Yeah. I mean, you could bring a hat.” That’s a quote. 

I LOVE the Acadia Outdoor Center, and I’m certain you would too. Bike rentals. Hiking recommendations, if you’re into that. Cute shirts. Camping and hiking gear. Coffee. Gelato… I highly recommend the blood orange. Stickers. Gifts. All the things. After a little retail therapy and lunch, Chris and I headed to Walmart with a list. Number one on that list? An air mattress.

We bought the most ridiculous air mattress for camping. I know this. He let me pick it out, obviously. But let me tell you, that thing is a dream. It is 16 inches thick and has a headboard! That means we were high above any water that may have run through the tent, and our pillows stayed put. Did it take up the majority of our living space? Yes. Did I care? Nope. All three of us slept great. 

Oh! We also found the scissors. They were between the old air mattress and the sheet. I actually slept on them but didn’t notice because of all the rocks and lumps and earth.  It would have been a great story to say that was why the mattress leaked, but alas, it was simply a piece of crap air mattress. It will be returned. 

And that’s basically it. That’s my first real camping experience. I have the perfect camping partner in Chris. He takes care of all the hard things and just wants me to be comfortable so that I’ll eventually go again, which we are in about two weeks. We agree that we need to do better meal planning (“Just because we’re camping doesn’t mean we can’t have yummy meals.”) and we have a list of the things we forgot to bring to Lamoine. I think the real question is, does Chris have the perfect camping partner in me? Well, duh. I’m an outside girlie now. Kind of.